the sunday lit

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"So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their ending!"

    We come to it at last, the last book in the LotR series. Well, if we're speaking chronologically, this is the first book as it tells of the events that happened before Frodo's Middle-Earth adventure. Before Frodo was born, actually. But I wanted to read the books that are  sort of the main meat of the story first, and so I left this as a light conclusion to my Tolkien experience.

    As I said, this story takes place before 'The Lord of the Rings', sixty years before, to be precise. Bilbo Baggins comes from the well-off Bagginses of Bag End in Hobbiton. He lives in his comfortable hole and is a very respectable, non-adventurous Hobbit. Some of his relations on the Took side are a bit more unexpected and thus less respectable, but Bilbo took after his father. His main concerns are the preparing and eating of food as well as smoking a good pipe when he's relaxing.

    One day, the wizard Gandalf comes to Hobbiton, looking for someone to share in an adventure. He's hard pressed to find anyone for Hobbits, as mentioned, are not fond of adventures at all for they disrupt their orderly lives. He invites Bilbo to go with him but is immediately, though politely, refused. Bilbo thinks hat is the end to of the disruption to his life, but the following day, at tea time Dwarves start coming. He is soon introduced to all thirteen of them: Dwalin, Balin (the Dwarf who went to reclaim Moria and was found dead there by the Fellowship), Kili, Fili, Oin, Gloin (Gimli's father), Ori, Dori, Nori, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur and Thorin. The poor Hobbit is running ragged trying to feed all the unexpected guests while wondering what in the world they are doing in his house. For Bilbo is fond of entertaining but he expects to always know his guests before they cross the threshold of his hole.

    Thorin tells the story of the Dwarven kingdom of Erebor and how the Dwarves lived in prosperity and in harmony with the neighboring Men and Elves, until one day Smaug, a dragon from the North, came, killed the Dwarves and took their treasure. Here, poor Bilbo is given the details of their plan to take back the Lonely Mountain. A small snag there - the dragon Smaug is still guarding the mines and the treasure hidden within and Bilbo is to be a part of their adventure as a burglar, recommended by Gandalf himself. After having a small fit at being named a co-conspirator in a robbing mission, Bilbo wants to prove the Dwarves wrong when they observe that he seems like a really bad burglar. 

    The next day Bilbo wakes up late and finds himself alone at home. Thinking the previous night to be a dream he goes on with his quest life, until Gandalf comes just as he's about to have a second breakfast and asks when exactly he is planning to leave. The Dwarves are waiting for him at The Green Dragon, and Bilbo takes off quickly to get there on time, not taking anything with him. And thus his adventure begins.

    Despite being in high spirits at the beginning of their quest, soon everyone is grumpy and miserable as the rain lashes, soaking their clothes. The Company lose all their food and are cold as they stop for the night. They also notice that Gandalf is no longer with them, which only adds to the collective foul mood. Following a light they see in the woods they chance upon three trolls who capture them and are planning on having a feast when Gandalf returns just in time and rescues his companions. 

"We are plain quiet folk and have no use for adventures. Nasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner! I can't think what anybody sees in them!"

    After their first danger, Gandalf leads them to the Last Homely House in Rivendell, home of Lord Elrond, one of the High Elves. They are received well and spend two weeks in the Elves' company, enjoying their stay. Bilbo is so entranced, he feels as if he could live there forever. Elrond is of much help here as he is able to read their map of the Lonely Mountain, deciphering the secret entrance on its side. And then they are off again. They face goblins and barely escape with their skins on. Bilbo wanders their tunnels and there, in the depths of the Misty Mountains, next to an underground pool, he meets Gollum. He finds a ring on the ground and quickly pockets it, not knowing exactly why. With this he sets many things in motion and changes his and many other lives - it's a turning point in his career.

    After having a riddle-off with Gollum, Bilbo makes a narrow escape, aided mainly by an extraordinary amount of luck and the help of the ring which makes him invisible. The Company are reunited and go on, but their troubles are not over as the Wargs, the wolves of the Mountain who are in league with the goblins, surround them. When all seems lost the Eagles come and carry them away. From they are transported close to Mirkwood, where they go on foot to Beorn's house. Beorn is a skin-changer who is grumpy and not really excited about their visit, but who still feeds them and helps them get to the entrance of Mirkwood. 

    From there they are on their own, for even Gandalf leaves for an errand. (From other materials we find out that he's investigating the Necromancer of Dol Guldur - Sauron - and that he and the rest of the White Council are driving him away from Mirkwood.) The Dwarves and Bilbo go through Mirkwood and note how evil the wood looks, as if it's dying. Many dark, queer and savage things dwell there and they are warned by Beorn not to stray from the path. This does not happen. 

    They see the Wood-elves feasting and this draws them toward the wood and away from the path. Still, every time they draw near, the Elves disappear, and soon they are besieged by enormous spiders. Bilbo uses his cunning and the ring here to free his companions and get away. They notice that Thorin gone and soon are all captured by the Elves. Thorin has been captured first and the Elvenking (not names in this book, but he's Thranduil, Legolas' father) is interrogating him about his mission. Bilbo sneaks away with the help of the ring and this allows him to wander the halls of the Elvenking's palace. He hatches a plan of escape and soon the Dwarves are floating down the River in empty food caskets.

    They end up in Lake-town where Thorin introduces himself as the prophesied King Under the Mountain who has come to reclaim the lost Kingdom of Erebor. They are well received. Bilbo is uneasy despite this and he cannot get the ominous look of the Lonely Mountain out of his head. Soon enough, Thorin decides that it's time to go and get to the final part of their mission. They manage to find the secret door but then Bilbo's part comes in - he must become a burglar and steal the Arkenstone, which will help Thorin claim the Kingdom as his, from Smaug... 

    Bilbo goes down to the main hall where he speaks to the dragon several times but he steals a cup and this angers old Smaug who destroys the secret door and traps them. He then destroys the Lake-town as revenge for the Men helping the intruders, though he meets his end there as a man by the name Bard kills him. Now, the Dwarves have taken up the Mountain, still looking for the Stone, the Elves and Men are both marching there because they want a cut f the treasure as well; and far away goblins and wolves are banding together to attack.

    This all results in the Battle of the Five Armies where, despite being enemies at first, Dwarves must unite with Men and Elves to defeat a common enemy. Gandalf returns just in time to save Bilbo from Thorin wrath when he finds out that the Hobbit's found the Arkenstone and then proceeded to give it to Bard as a bargaining chip. He'd noticed that Thorin was falling to madness, as Dwarves are wont to do in the presence of such vast amounts of treasure, when greed clouds their mind. He'd hoped it could be used as a bargaining chip, so that everyone could get their share and a battle could be avoided. 

"There is a lot more in him than you guess, and a deal more than he has any idea of himself."


    But, the battle is upon them and, though he remembers t fondly later on, Bilbo did not have much influence on it. He'd put on his ring and hidden away, watching from the sidelines. In the end, Thorin dies and the kingdom goes to Dain who distributes the treasure fairly among the victors. Bilbo goes back to his cozy Hobbit-hole, where he finds out he'd been presumed dead and all his belongings are being auctioned off. He reclaims his home and over time buys back his things. He remains an Elf-friend and a friend of the Dwarves, and by the rest of the Hobbits he is from then on considered queer.

    This is a rather short book and very quick read. My edition is also printed in a larger font the rest of the books in the series (even though they're a boxed set) so it's even shorter than it appears when compared to the other physical copies. They style is very whimsical and fairytale-like. You can clearly see that this was intended for children and this contributes to its readability. I really flew through this. It was a bit of a shock coming from the trilogy which was dense and written in a much more serious tone and a different style altogether. You can also clearly see that this was the introduction to Middle-Earth as nothing is really fleshed out. There are no details, no paragraph-long descriptions of everything and I can see that it was used as a jumping-off board for Tolkien to then make the world come alive in the trilogy that followed.

    I did wonder how they managed to make a trilogy of movies out of this little book and I kind of skimmed them but a lot of material seems to be from Tolkien's supplementary writings and some things are added at the writers' discretion. For Tolkien apparently intended to come back to this and rework the book as he'd worked out more of the story in his later writings, but he didn't have time. It's too bad this didn't happen for I would have loved to see more of Legolas (he was definitely alive at this time and it is fair to assume he lived in his father's kingdom as his, apparently, only child). But it is nice for a children's book, it's quick paced and not bogged down by endless dascriptions, so that helps. I just wished the world was more developed because it was jarring reading this after 'The Lord of the Rings' and it's flowery prose and incredible world-building.

"Already he  was a very different hobbit from the one that had run out without a pocket-handkerchief from Bag-End long ago. He had not had a pocket-handkerchief for ages."

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"It must often be so, Sam, when things are in danger: someone has to give them up, lose them, so that others may keep them. I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are evil. But I am glad you are here with me. Here at the end of all things, Sam."

    The final installment of 'The Lord of the Rings' trilogy is fantastic. I absolutely loved the pacing here, the buildup and the excitement. The change is palpable and every page brings you closer to it, closer to the war and to the end of the Third Age and, with it, the end of the world as the characters - and thus the reader - have known it.

       The first part, once again, is dedicated to the Company, where we see Gandalf urging Shadowfax to hurry because everything is at stake. With him is Pippin, who has touched the palantir at the end of the second book. Headed to Gondor, they see its beacons are lit and a shadow passes over them. Sauron has sent a Ringwraith to Orthanc because he believes Pippin to have the ring, hence the mad dash away from it. When they get to Minas Tirith, a city that to Pippin looks as if it was "carven by giants out of the bones of the earth" Gandalf doesn't receive a warm welcome from the Steward of Gondor, Denethor. He knows about the death of his son Boromir and wanting to somehow pay off his life debt, Pippin pledges himself to Gondor. (If you remember, Boromir died trying to save Merry and Pippin from the Orcs.) Here we find out that the blood of Westernesse, of Numenor, flows through Denethor and Faramir's veins, yet it did not in Boromir whom his father loved best. He was only interested in legends and battles and wished to achieve his own glory; he was weak and selfish. His brother Faramir, on the other hand, is a wise, learned man who nonetheless was ferocious in battle despite being gentle, thus less reckless than Boromir, and who was beloved by all the Guard of Gondor. Denethor sends Faramir to Osgiliath, which has been taken over by Orcs, and he comes back seemingly dead. Only then does the Steward realize he loves his son and, wanting to save himself, he builds a pyre for the two of them. Stopped by Gandalf, with Pippin's intervention, Denethor dies and Faramir is saved. Throughout all this, Minas Tirith prepares for battle for the Orcs will attack soon.

    Back in Rohan, Aragorn and Pippin watch Shadowfax go. Aragorn knows that his road will take him to Minas Tirith but is unsure of which road that is. Soon, though, thirty of the Dunedain, his fellow Rangers, join him, along with Elrond's sons Elladan and Elrohir, and bring two gifts: one is something that Arwen wrought is secret, something that represents hope; the other is advice - to seek the Paths of the Dead if he is in a haste. Having been made an esquire of Rohan, Merry rides off with the Rohirrim and then notices how older Aragorn suddenly looks, as if a great burden had been placed upon him. Strider looked into the palantir the night before and revealed himself to Sauron. Deciding to take the Paths of the Dead, he goes off with his kin, accompanied by Legolas and Gimli as well. Though Eowyn tries to stop him from going, Aragorn says he must and if he were allowed to follow his heart, he'd be in Rivendell, thus putting a stop to her fantasies.

"I am no warrior at all and dislike any thought of battle; but waiting on the edge of one I can't escape is worst of all."
 
   The Battle of the Pelennor Fields is raging. Gondor is desperate but then the shadows move and sun slips through the cracks, the wind changes and hope is restored somewhat. King Theoden rides up with the Rohirrim and they immediately join the thick of the battle. The Witch King of Angmar, the Lord of the Nazgul, is killed by the joined efforts of Eowyn and Merry. At the same time, Aragorn is in the South, freeing ships from Southerners with the help of his undead army, and sailing up Anduin with Arwen's banner flying. He comes to the Fields with many men, carrying the reforged sword Anduril and the star of Elendil on his brow. He and Eomer finally join in battle and win, though many of their kinsmen are slayed. In the cover of night Aragorn goes inside the city to help heal the wounded for the hands of the king are healing. There he helps Merry and Eowyn as well. We have a great bit of insight from Legolas here, who notes that everyone that meets Aragorn grows to love him. He'd also seen how fierce he is in battle and it startled him for it registered how terrifying he'd be if he was in possession of the One ring; he says it is no wonder Mordor fears him so much.

    Wanting now to give a better chance to Sam and Frodo, and draw Sauron's attention away from his lands, the Counil in Gondor decides to attack. They will draw the Dark Lord's attention and forces to the main gate by attacking them first. On their ride through Ithilien, they loudly proclaim that King Elessar has come to claim the land, though no answer could be heard from Mordor. Finally, at the gate, they are greeted by the Mouth of Sauron, a creature that was once a Man but evil had rotted it so much i doesn't even remember its own name anymore. He shows Gandalf Frodo's mithril shirt, as well as Sam's sword and a gray cloak of Lorien; his proposal is for them to surrender and serve the Dark Lord. When he is refused, the armies of Mordor attack - Merry kills a troll but is hit on the head in the swarm and loses consciousness. This is where the first part ends.

    Frodo and Sam's adventures are, thankfully, shorter this time around, and much more interesting. Gathering every last bit of his courage, Sam enters the Orc stronghold where Frodo was taken. The Orcs themselves have helped him much by arguing amongst themselves and killing almost everyone there. He puts the ring on and sneaks into the attic where Frodo is laying, stripped of his clothes. Sam rummages the Orc corpses laying around and gets enough equipment for the two of them to dress up as Orcs and pass as unnoticeably as possible through the wastelands of Mordor. They have to hide again because the forces are gathering toward the gate. They're hungry and thirsty and Frodo's strength and hope are waning fast for the ring is draining him of it. At one moment they notice the wind is changing and that Sauron is not having it his way. A shirt cry pierces the air - the Lord of the Nazgul is dead. Still, a gloom covers Mordor and the sliver of hope leaves Frodo quickly.

    At one point they are caught by Orcs, thought to be deserters. Their armor helps them not be recognized, though the fast marching of the army leaves the already weakened Frodo on the brink of exhaustion. Thankfully, they manage to escape the Orcs and head toward Mount Doom. On the last leg of their journey nothing was spying on them for all the lands were empty and the Nazgul were busy. Only Gollum still followed silently. Sam, the ever faithful Sam, carries Frodo up the Mountain road and then stays behind to deter Gollum who has reveled himself and wants to take the Precious for himself. Frodo goes on to the mouth of the Mountain and Sam follows. What he finds chills his bones: Frodo standing there, holding the ring and saying he will not just throw it away. Gollum appears and bits his ring finger off - as he dances he falls into the lava and the ring is destroyed. The two friends get to a protruding cliff and watch as Mordor is destroyed all around them, knowing they will not get away and will perishalong with it.

    The ending lasts a bit longer here than in the movie, but the Eagles save Frodo and Sam and take them to Ithilien. They go to meet the King and see Strider there. Merry and Pippin are at the table as well, dressed in the Rohan and Gondor livery respectively, and serving their kings. They spend enough time there for all to heal and then head back. The King will enter Minas Tirith on May 1. In the meantime, Faramir and Eowyn get close in the Healing Houses and he professes his love for her. She say she will marry him as soon as she comes back from Rohan, for she wants to bury her uncle properly. Faramir, as the current Steward, leads the ceremony of giving the lordship over to Aragorn. Aragorn is crowned and makes Faramir the Prince of Ithilien. On Midsummer's Eve, the Elves come and Arwen is with them. Elrond gives the new King the scepter of Arnor and the hand of his daughter in marriage. Before everyone departs, Arwen gives Frodo her spot on the ship to the Undying Lands for she has made her choice. Many partings ensue and it's all very bittersweet. It's really sad to watch so many friends say goodbye, knowing that many of them will never see each other again, though everything worked out with the ring.

    There is also a story here about the scouring of the Shire, orchestrated by Saruman. The Hobbits have come back from a perilous journey, fought  a war to save Middle-earth and wanted to come home to their cozy holes and warm hearths. Instead, they come back to an unrecognizable, destroyed Shire where Saruman enslaved people, tore down trees, destroyed land in his revenge. This ends well too, but it really made me think of how it feels to go off to distant lands to fight battles and then come back home to find the same evil raging. In the end, Frodo sailed to the Undying Lands with the last of the Elves and Gandalf, carrying with them the three rings Sauron forged for the Elven kings. Sam, Merry and Pippin go back to their homes.

"It is useless to meet revenge with revenge: it will heal nothing."

    One thing that really bothered me in the books is the lack of Arwen. Hers and Aragorn's love story is the driving force behind the narrative. He works so hard to become a king because Elrond told him his daughter could only marry the King of Gondor and Arnor. This story is relegated to an Appendix in the book, but I truly love how it was all over the movies and how Aragorn never stops thinking about her. He does mention her, saying he'd be with her of he had the luxury of listening to his heart. But I understand that the story is told mainly from the Hobbits' point of view and so Tolkien didn't include much of it in the main narrative

    The part with Sam and Frodo wasn't so tedious in this installment probably because their journey to Mordor was almost done so a lot of their chapters were set after the destruction of the ring. Things were finally happening and the pacing was great to get into. I also loved how Tolkien would at times tell us what the other characters were doing at the time (eg. when Sam feels the wind change in Mordor, Aragorn feels the same wind sailing up Anduin, the Rohirrim have just arrived to the Fields.)

    I love Eowyn here even more than in the last book. She is a complex human who is unafraid of battle but then in the Houses of the Healing she barely pulls though because she's brokenhearted over Aragorn. Faramir is amazing as well and, though Boromir is ok in the movies and has some great lines (and memes), in the books his younger brother takes the prize. Sorry, I'm not a fan of Boromir. Legolas, Gimli and Aragorn are terrific and their friendship and mutual love is truly aspirational. I love how Legolas and Gimli went on the trips they promised they would take and how they lingered on until Aragorn's death 120 years later - and then Legolas basically smuggled Gimli into the Undying Lands (the only Dwarf there). These two, man!

    I'm not sure I need to say more about Merry and Pippin, but I will. They showed remarkable courage in the war and their actions were crucial to its outcome. If they hadn't insisted on going with Frodo, things would have turned out quite differently, and not for the better. I truly love how they remained knights of Gondor and Rohan, and in the Scouring of the Shire they showed such great leadership and strategy. Truly the heroes we didn't deserve.

    What else is there to say? I knew how the book would end, and though it can be considered a happy ending it still made me cry. Yup, I cried. Like, ugly, snotty real crying. I felt the loss everyone experienced somehow. Through the three volumes I bonded with these characters so Arwen and Elrond saying goodbye forever hit me. The Fellowship falling apart little by little brought tears and even now, as I type this, I feel pressure behind my eyes. Damn it. Middle-earth as a whole lost Elves and with them much that was magical was gone and the world became ordinary. In the end, Sam lost Frodo, despite them surviving such evil times together.

    As I look back, I feel inclined even to forgive Tolkien's writing from the beginning. I'm sure I'll be skipping certain chapters when I re-read this in the future but what I loved was great and even now I feel the need to go back to certain things. But, I suppose I can always watch the movies when I need a fix. Hopefully I won't become one of the purists who bemoan every change from book to screen, though. Anyway, have you read the books? Watched the films? Both? Neither? If you have, which do you prefer?

"If the war is lost, what good will be my hiding in the hills? And if it is won, what grief will it be, even if I fall, spending my last strength?"

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"But I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend."

    As promised, I'm back with my thoughts on the second installment of the 'The Lord of the Rings' trilogy. After finishing 'The Fellowship', not having had exactly the best of times, I was a bit apprehensive about the rest of the story. But it was unmerited, as Tolkien really got things going after that. As I said in my previous post, I enjoyed both the following installments better than the first.

    Again, this novel is divided into two books: Book III deals with the Fellowship (or the Company as it's actually called in the books) and book IV is concerned with Frodo and Sam and their separate journey toward Mordor. As you probably know if you've watched the movie, Boromir dies, Merry and Pippin are taken by the Uruk-hai of Isengard and what remains of the company goes in search for them. A lot more happens here and I for one was glad for it. 

    First off, let's deal with the larger group of the broken Fellowship. Knowing that Frodo must go on without their help and that Sam really is the only person who can aid him on the rest of his perilous quest, the Man, the Elf and the Dwarf turn towards the other Hobbits. The chapters are divided between Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli on the one side as they hunt for Orcs and happen upon the riders of Rohan, and some focus on Merry and Pippin's horrendous journey toward Isengard with the Uruk-hai and the Orcs of Mordor. There are adventures with the Ents here as well, in the Fangorn Forest (I've noticed that a lot of people on Goodreads warned that this is the most boring part of the book, but I actually enjoyed it). Gandalf returns as the White Wizard, sent back from the dead to finish his mission. The Hobbits join the Ents in the destruction of Saruman's Orthanc stronghold and the restoration to its natural order. The others ride to Edoras in Rohan, where Gandalf removes Saruman's spell from King Theoden, they banish Grima Wormtongue and fight the battle of Helm's Deep. The Fellowship meets again in he ruins of Isengard and after a parlay with Saruman, a palantir is thrown from the tower. Ever curious, Pippin touches it and sees Sauron. Gandalf takes him away to Gondor, on a mission to prepare the city of Minas Tirith for war.

    I once again must single out Merry and Pippin who somehow always move the plot along and even their bumbling leads to big events that change history. Truly and wonderful duo, friends who always worry about each other even when they're competing or mocking the other. Legolas and Gimli are amazing as well, and I loved the scene where Legolas pulled an arrow on Eomer for threatening Gimli. Who'd have thought - an Elf and a Dwarf? Also, their competition over their body count starts at the battle of Helm's Deep, a friendly rivalry that adds some much needed levity to grim scenes of war. There is also an agreement that, once it's all over - and if it goes in their favor, they would travel together and visit the caves on Helm's Deep and the depths of the Fangorn Forest. Truly the best of friends.

"Maybe we shall cleave a road, or make such an end as will be worth a song - if any be left to sing of us hereafter."

    And also, there's Eowyn, Eomer's sister and King Theoden's niece, a shieldmaiden of Rohan who longs for freedom and the chance to fight for the people she loves. Her only fear is living in a cage. I truly loved her and she's the embodiment of a strong woman, not just the modern "strong female character". She is loyal to her uncle and to her people and it pains her to watch others fight and die while she tends the home and waits for news of glory or doom. She is attracted to Aragorn as soon as she meets him but he, thankfully, does not really entertain her fancy. He realizes that her affection is nothing but "a shadow and a thought", that in him she just sees the glory she wishes she could have. His heart is already taken. (Arwen is not in this book, though she wasn't in the first one either; the story of these two is relegated to an appendix as Tolkien felt it wouldn't fit the main narrative because it's told from the Hobbits' perspective. I love that  the movie included more of her and Aragorn because I find it the central story of the whole tale.)

    The other part of the novel deals with Frodo and Sam's journey to Mordor. On their way they pick up Gollum who is to be their guide. Sam is really suspicious of him and has no love for the wretched creature. Frodo, though, trusts him to guide them to where they need to go, something his companion is completely baffled by. These three pass through depressing terrains, jagged rocks, terrible swamps where dead people float - and among it all there is worry over food and drink. As they're headed toward the pass near Cirith Ungol (once Minas Ithil but now taken over by the Nazgul) they see sourtherners coming up toward Mordor, as Sauron is gathering his armies. There they meet Faramir, from whom they learn that his brother Boromir is dead and that his body floated down Anduin some days ago. A wise and gentle man, Faramir guesses what his brother had done but has no wish to take Frodo's burden for himself, being a much better and stronger man than his older sibling. The Hobbits move on with Gollum and pass the accursed Cirith Ungol where they see the Nagzul leaving with an army and realize something is brewing. Gollum betrays them and leads them to Shelob's lair, a giant demon spider. Sam finds Frodo apparently lifeless on the floor, but discovers that he's only stunned when Orcs take his body away.
  
"Strange are the turns of fortune! Often does hatred hurt itself!"

    There are things happening here. Sure, Tolkien still gives detailed explanations but here it feels like they're actually enriching the story, not just painting a still picture. Even Frodo and Sam do things, or things happen to them. It's not all thinking and moaning. Though Frodo does a lot of that, I try to be understanding of his fatigue and complaining. He is carrying a heavy burden, a darkness that attracts the enemy and all the time tries to ensnare him into its evil web. Honestly, if he were left to his own devices and there was no Sam to cheer him on, to make sure he eats and rests, he would never have gotten anywhere near Mordor. Still, there is resolve in Frodo, despite knowing nothing of what happened to his companions after the Orc attack. He believes them all to be dead but is still determined to do the task he was given to the best of his ability, even though on many occasions he feels like he's already failed and the ending is inevitable. He often wishes for Gandalf''s or Aragorn's advice, though now he must trust his own instincts.

    I did have more compassion for Frodo the closer he got to the wasteland of Mordor. I was also touched with the way both Hobbits trudged on even though at one point, while talking about the rationing of food for the roundabout trip, they realized that they would never come back. Getting to Mount Doom was perilous and impossible enough, getting back was beyond comprehension. And still, Sam and Frodo went on to fulfill their task and try to save all those who, knowingly or unknowingly, depended on them.

    And that's it. Another book done. I was really looking forward to the final installment after finishing this one. Thigs were finally falling into place, the end could be felt. Every page I turned filled me with anticipation, even though I knew the plot because of the films. I mostly enjoyed all the new characters from Rohan and Gondor, all of whom I loved. Well, apart from Wormtongue; his name should really tell you all one needs to know. As the story progresses, more and more characters are introduced, the tension is ever more palpable and stakes higher and higher... I can't wait to talk to you about the last book.

"It is difficult with these evil folk to know when they are in league, and when they are cheating one another."

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   "Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends."

 So, the time has come for me to read one of the most famous works of fiction in the world. (Well, depends on who you ask: Tolkien fanatics would probably tell you it is the most famous work in the world.) My first introduction to Tolkien was through movies - I cannot now recall when exactly I've seen the adaptations first, and whether it was only the first movie or the whole lot. It was on TV, so some time must have passed since the theatrical release, but I believe I was still in primary school. All I remember of it was liking Legolas. (I prefer Aragorn now, so I suppose it is true what they say about girls and these two.) But I have watched them numerous times in recent years and have come to love them dearly. And now, I've got the books under my belt too.

    To say I was excited was not exactly accurate. I did feel it but deep in my gut a feeling of dread was stirring. The journey I was to embark on was daunting: the trilogy was long, some 1000+ pages of densely printed text in a fairly small font. Also, over time I'd just accepted the fact that Tolkien was hard to read. I expected to find some very unusual turns of phrase, words whose meaning eluded me, whole paragraphs I'd have to read thrice over to understand what was going on... I had my dictionary at the ready and was resigned to spending at least two weeks on the books. Yet, none of that was needed. The reason behind the difficulty of getting through was Tolkien's writing. His rather dull writing, I'm sorry to say. At times, reading this felt like a chore.

    As of the time of my typing this I have finished the whole trilogy. My opinion is much better for it as the books improve, and I may not be as sharp and critical as I was when I had first finished 'The Fellowship'. Having watched the movies prior to reading definitely did not help. In my opinion Peter Jackson took the best from the books for his adaptations, and anything cut from it could have been cut from the book as well, for all its relevance and the enjoyment it brings. I minded the writing, some of the characters, the pace, the way the plot was set up... But let us start slowly, before I get myself wound up.

    The first thing that I will say - and this goes for all the books as they're set up in the same way - is that I hated the division onto 'books'. Each novel of the trilogy is divided into two books and those carry different points of view. 'The Fellowship' starts off with the Hobbits: Bilbo's party, Frodo inheriting the Ring, after a decade Gandalf comes back - having been investigating the origins of the ring - to tell Frodo he must leave the Shire by the end of summer, then Frodo and Sam leaving, with Pippin and Merry assisting them on their journey, the Black Riders, The Prancing Pony in Bree, meeting Strider, setting out with him, meeting the Ringwraiths on Weathertop, then an Elf carries the wounded Frodo away to the Elves. The second book deals with Elrond's Council, the formation of the Company, setting out, the treacherous road through Moria, Gandalf's death at the hands of the Balrog, their stay in Lothlorien, Galadriel's test, setting out again with Elven boats, Boromir's madness, Sam and Frodo going on their own, the Orcs' attack. Ta-da! This works for the first novel, as the timeline is linear, but it somehow felt as if Tolkien stretched the first part so he'd have the some number of chapters as in the second. Can you tell I very much dislike the first part of 'Fellowship'?

"The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater."

    Now, before I become a downer and before Tolkien's Nazgul descend on me for being sacrilegious, I shall also list the things I liked about the book. And first off - the world. Tolkien has created such a life-like world that it feels as if it truly existed somewhere. He has maps, he has names for everything - in different languages on occasion, knows the layout of every town, the family tree for each main character. Each species has its own language, their own songs and customs. It really is a great world and a perfect one for adaptation to the big screen, if you have the budget. He also writes friendship with great skill, as all in the Fellowship are loyal to one another, and Frodo and Aragorn are especially loved by their companions. I truly loved Aragorn and Gandalf here.

    I am also partial to Merry and Pippin. In the movies they are little more than comic relief - the incompetent Hobbits who come along because they think it's a fun adventure and always moan about food. They are a hindrance and a nuisance and I had no great love for them before. But reading the books changed my opinion completely. They are loyal friends to Frodo, who observed him changing for years and offered their help when they realized he was going away. They arranged for his accommodations and then followed him through dangers to Rivendell because they loved him. They don't jump into the Council meeting, recklessly joining the Fellowship without knowing where they are going and what they need to do. Instead, after the meeting they bemoan the fact they cannot follow their friend and Gandalf vouches for them so they are allowed to go. I'm not saying they are without fault and without fear but they are a deal more important and mature in the books and are not used just as silly Hobbits who say funny things and need to be saved all the time. I really never thought I'd like them this much, but there it is. (Frodo, on the other hands, is a whiney little punk and I could do without hundreds of pages of him complaining. People on Goodreads said the Ents were boring but I found their adventure with Merry and Pippin far more interesting than Frodo's with Gollum.)

    What don't I like? Oh boy... Well, I mentioned the writing before. As I said, I'd heard it was difficult to read and expected some tangled complexity I'd have to read several times over to get to the gist. It was not so. The writing was just - drab. I'm sorry, but Tolkien was not the best of writers. His imagination was beyond compare, to that I will admit anytime, but I stand behind my words that his writing ability does not match up. In a lot of places I felt as if I was reading history, geography and anthropology texts in turn, with such dry writing and handing out of information. I was wondering what of that I was supposed to memorize, as if I was going to be quizzed on it later. Another thing that bothered me were the endless poems/songs. The Hobbits are always singing, they have a song for every occasion: bathing, eating, walking, traveling... I was beyond sick of it by the time I finished the book. I did say before that the songs are a part of the creation of the world, each culture has their own, but they did not help this book's case. I liked the intention, but the execution not so much. (And don't forget Tom Bombadil, he did get them out of some nasty situations, but I found him annoying.)

    I am not a fan of Russian writers. I never read Dostoyevsky, for example. I started Tolstoy's 'Anna Karenina' but abandoned it half-way through because of its overlong and tedious paragraphs upon paragraphs of descriptions. Well, Tolkien put me to the test by doing the same thing here: describing every nook and cranny, every tree and blade of grass, every person and their garb, the landscape, the weather, the endless miles the characters walk... I persevered, I somehow did (maybe I should try Tolstoy again), but I did not enjoy it and it served only to pull me out of the book. I know its intention was to ensnare you, to make the world so vivid you'd almost believe you were walking with the company, but for me it just had the opposite effect. I'm sorry to the late Tolkien and to all his passionate fans, but this didn't work for me. I appreciate the sentiment and the intention but it fell clunky and overlong. I could somehow see that he was a scholar in his writing, with all this attention to minutiae and the long-windedness. He really needed a real writer to help out and a heck of an editor to trim this down. There are so many accompanying books he's written about Middle Earth, a lot of this could have been moved into one of them.

    To conclude, I appreciate the book for what it is - the precursor of all modern fantasy and the inspiration behind many works of fiction that came after it. I promise, I enjoyed the two following books more and will have more flattering things to say in posts to come. But as for this one, I simply cannot abide by its slow pace and the almost total lack of action, of things happening... But I read it and am glad for it. I leave you now with this poem, one you've probably seen before even if you've never read Tolkien, composed by Bilbo Baggins and concerning Aragorn, son of Arathorn. Farewell, and I'll be back soon with posts about the rest of the story.

"All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
        The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
        From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
            Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king."

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"But loving something did not mean wanting to leap into it and let it drown you."

    This book has been on my shelf for two years, I believe. In any case, long enough for me to forget why I had bought it in the first place. I remember being really excited for it when I ordered it and yet, over time, I became cautious of its pretty cover. What if the story is bad. The mermaid that seemed so enchanting when I first saw them now appeared daunting, suggesting a childish, very YA story. Still, as I am unemployed and broke due to the crazy times we're living in, I am unable to buy more books and am obliged to actually read the ones I already have. This is one such book.

    This is a story of grief. The Ross family was started by a boxer and a ballerina. Peter and Signe moved their children Islay and Mara to a small, unnamed island in northern Scotland where many strange things are at work. There they buy a big, crumbling house with a plan of renovating it. They also have another child, a boy named Barra, that they call Bee. He seems to be the apple of everyone's eye and his sisters spend all their time amusing him. And as their last child, both Peter and Signe look at him as the epitome of perfection. It seems the whole family is delighting in him. And yet, Signe is getting tired of living so long in an unfinished house, though Peter is always doing something. But whenever a thing is fixed another gets broken, as if the house doesn't want to changed and made truly habitable.

    What starts the story is tragedy. Mara wakes early one morning and sees that Bee is missing, her bed empty. She searches through the house, the yard and finally goes to the beach. To her horror she sees his small head on the sea, battling the waves. Though she tries to get to him she is too late. As she gets to the shore she notices that he is not breathing and runs for her parents. 

    Grief grips the whole family after the event and they all distance from each other. I found it really poignant how individuals faced the tragedy and processed their sorrow. Signe wouldn't entertain the thought that Bee is dead. She took to doing up the house, somehow hoping Bee would come back when she was the perfect mother in the perfect home. Peter went behind his wife, undoing her work because he saw his son's death as the island's retribution for changing things - if he restored the house to its original state the island would give hi his son back. Islay left the island, knowing that if she'd stayed she'd be nothing more than the sister of a lost boy. Mara withdrew, still the reminder of that ugly morning branded on her skin in the form of a scar she sustained by being cut along her cheek while swimming.   

    Time passes. Mara roams the island after work, lost in her thoughts, and one day stumbles on a bus full of books. Here she spends a lot of her time and loses herself in the words and distant worlds. The books with deaths are her favorite because, unlike in real life, she can start the book from the beginning and each death is undone, it's not permanent. And then one day, she meets the person who will change the course of her life. Pearl is originally from the island but lives far away. She works as a mermaid (yes, that's what the cover refers to), performing in a traveling show as an underwater acrobat. With no family or any real connection, she travels the world and only comes back to the island every few years.

    Mara is enchanted by Pearl. Her life seems so glamorous, she is doing what she loves and is able to leave the island. The two get close and eventually begin a relationship. The urge to leave grips Mara and she eventually calls Islay to come back and take care of their parents for a while, as she deserves a chance to find something of her own, too. There is a resentment there between the sisters, but they manage to accommodate each other. 

"Beauty is boring. The best lives leave a mark."

    In all this time, slow bits of the island lore are revealed. The inhabitants start turning to stone as they approach death's door, they get slower, lose track of time, their bones creak like boulders when they move and stony dust falls from their skin. When they feel their time is near they climb a cliff, only to become statues as a form of death. The land and the water that make island are ever at odds, pulling and pushing, striving for balance, yet it comes with a price - the lands wants permanence, the water wants change. Many tales are shared, those of selkie-wives and mermaids, the Ross girls are raised on a steady diet of fairy tales and their mother never really tells then what real life is like, what to expect out in the world.

    This certainly is a strange novel. The prose is lyrical and it truly feels as if you're reading some magic, enchanted text, long forgotten and buried in the annals of time. The plot could be happening in our time, of fifty years ago, or maybe a hundred. The sleepy island is so outside the usual flow of time that it is hard to judge. The chapters are titles after Gaelic words, as well as ballet and boxing terms, which also serves to give it an otherworldly feel. It's like a fairytale that you think might have actually happened, and yet there are too many magical components for comfort. The story slips from past to present, memories are tangled with the everyday life, so that everything feels dreamy and enveloped in a fine mist.

    I truly got more that I expected from this book. It is a gentle, whimsical and still brutal exploration of grief, of moving on when you think all hope is lost and everything beautiful in this world has gone away. It tells of coping with guilt and of trying to move on and live after losing someone dear. It deals with self-acceptance and forgiveness, of real love and the love in fairytales. It's a tale of growing up and being a child who believes in fairytales still, clinging to that last bit of magic, hoping for an effortless conclusion  to your life. It may not be everyone's cup of tea - and it did take me a while to get into it - but it is such a strangely moving work of fiction that I think you cannot remain unaffected by it.

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"Good hearts don't leave scars like that. They don't burn villages down."


   Children of Blood and Bone was very hyped when it came out, back in 2018. I saw it all over bookstagram, tumblr and even Goodreads was pushing it down my throat. And I caved - I bought it. I was intrigued by the premise and I really wanted to read more books set on the African continent, sprinkled with their mythology and legends. And this book has it in spades. Its sequel Children of Virtue and Vengeance, the second book in the planned trilogy, has come out as well.

    The novel is told from three perspectives: Zelie, Amari and Inan. All three live in Orisha, a country that used to have magic, with its wielders being the maji - ten tribes of them with different abilities to be correct - but now is devoid of it. King Saran - Amari and Inan's father - has killed all the maji in the Raid eleven years ago, having been burned by their power and fearful of what else they could do with. Now only the children remain - recognizable by their white hair and silver eyes, whom Saran left alive because they had not yet reached their power. Now they are known as diviners, and their lives are incredibly difficult, with having to pay enormous - and always raising - taxes just for existing, and the people helping them are being punished as well. If the taxes are not paid, they go into the stocks where they're supposed to work until they pay their debt off. But with the taxes always rising the day of freedom never comes and the slaves remain there for the rest of their days.

"I won't let your ignorance silence my pain."

    This is where we find Zelie. She lives in a village by the sea with her father Baba and brother Tzain. Eleven years ago she saw the soldiers drag her mother away and hang her in majacite chains. She lives in constant fear, though she is loath to admit it to herself, and takes a secret fighting class that a local woman, Mama Agba, teaches. On the day of her graduation from the class, the soldiers come and demand more taxes for maggots. Zelie speaks up but only to her peril, as one of the guards demonstrates that she is nothing and he could easily overpower and rape her if he wanted. She later finds her father at death's door because he'd gone fishing so he had something to sell to pay off the tax. Zelie's filled with guilt as everyone she cares about seems to be ruined just by her proximity. She goes to sell some fish in the capital Lagos in order to get the money needed.

    On that same day, Amari, the princess of Orisha, is sitting with her mother and other court ladies. She is criticized for her dark skin and her eating habits, as is her usual burden, and is restless. Finding out that her personal servant and best friend Binta, a diviner, has been summoned by her father, she goes off to look for her. As she gets to the throne room she sees that an old artefact has been found, a maji scroll, and that Binta seems to have magic when she touches it.  As she watches her father casually kill her friend, she is overwhelmed by grief and anger. Not knowing what exactly she is doing, she steals the scroll and runs away, running into Zelie in town. The two manage to escape the guard after a perilous flight, but the terror is brought to Zelie's village which they burn to the ground is search of her. 

"Afraid.
I am always afraid."

    Joined now by Zelie's elder brother Tzain, the two go on a dangerous quest of returning the magic back to Orisha. They must find two other artefacts and get to a secret island before the next solstice - which is in a fortnight. Their task is to get to a temple and to there restore the bond of the maji to the gods. The are pursued by Inan, newly named the commander of the guard by his father. He is looking for his father's approval and is determined to get the scroll that was stolen at any cost. Believing that magic is an inconceivable danger, he fancies himself a hero. But soon the knowledge that his sister is one of the people he's hunting, and other discoveries - such as the strange connection to Zelie and his own apparent magic - make him hesitant and indecisive.

"As long as we don't have magic, they will never treat us with respect. They need to know we can hit them back. If they burn our homes, we burn theirs, too."

    And so they speed off. They meet many people, they see too many things: the old gods and their temples, the misery of the stocks. The story really takes us through a lot and covers many social issues as well. Racism is prevalent here as the people with lighter skin are much revered and those with dark skin are not - even Amari's mother is shamed by her daughter's darker complexion, and she's a princess. The classism is apparent as well, with the diviners being of a lower class - well, lowest really - and living in slums while being called the disgusting slur - maggot. I cannot help thinking of its parallel in our world: the n-word and the financial and social oppression of people of color. The stocks are obviously indentured servitude turned into slavery, with the prisoners working to pay off an ever increasing debt. The cases of the king's guard being set loose on people with nothing to check them coincide with the increasing number of police brutality cases, and it's something that's mentioned in the author's note as an inspiration for writing the novel.

    I love the world that is created, the rich mythology. The gods are beautiful and the story of the Sky Mother, her god children and her blood and bone children is beautiful. The maji have sibling deities and each of the deities gave their human brothers and sisters abilities, making them maji. I cannot do this woeld justice here, you really need to read it to fully grasp it. 

"And there it is.
That word.
That miserable, degrading slur.
Whispered with no regard. Wrapped in that arrogant smirk."

    Now, I have to be honest, I did not completely like this book. I'm sorry. I was looking forward to it so much, expecting a story that will sweep me off my feet, as it seems to have swept the rest of the internet, and I ended up immensely disappointed. I hated all the point-of-view characters, for one. Not one of them is a likeable person. Zelie is selfish to a fault and only thinks of herself. She never stops and wonders what consequences her actions will bring forth. And it is always others paying for her - like Mama Agba, or Baba and, more frequently, her poor brother Tzain. It really frustrated me how bullheaded she is and how unwilling to take advice. Her impulsiveness gets everyone in trouble and she never even attempts to check it. She feels bad for a bit when someone else is hurt because of her, but she soon gets over it and is back on her worst behavior. I detested her.

    Inan is an idiot as well. I understand the tragic background - the cruel father, the instilled fear and hate of the maji, and all that is well. But he is so indecisive it made my head spin. He'd make three completely different decisions in the span of a single chapter, then he'd go off like a rabid dog to carry out his father's whims, but then a few hours later he's all tender and caring for Zelie. I just wanted to smack him and tell him to make up his useless and weak mind. His self-loathing also struck me as very dramatic but this is a YA, so what did I expect? Rational thinking? His sister Amari had the same childhood, but seems to be made of sterner stuff and she openly defies her father with her every action. Still, even her freezing at any sign of danger, even though her fighting skills would be of great use, started to grate on my nerves after a while. But she is not irredeemable, so I suppose she will grow as the story progresses,
       
    The romance! I did not expect romance here and I wish I did not get it. Zelie is extremely distrustful of Inan at first, hates him even because she knows that he's pursuing them by his father's orders. That's all well merited. But then they begin to meet in his dreamscape (everyone is a maji, apparently) and tender feelings surface. The two are forced to work together to save their siblings. After that the true romance blooms with the duo exchanging more than kisses. Then there's betrayal, torture, a rescue... And just when you think Inan is good he does more stupid things in order to please his tyrannical father. I can't even... Hopefully this thread does not appear in the following books because it makes no sense whatsoever.

"You raised me to fight monsters. It took far too long to understand that the real monster was you."

    What to say in the end? I did not hate this book but I did not particularly like it, either. The world is great but the characters kept pulling me out of the story. I just wanted to strangle the lot of them (except Tzain, he's good, he can stay). Maybe I am simply too old now to read this sort of book, who knows? I just felt like it was too dramatic and too long and had some of the least likeable main characters I've encountered. By the end, I didn't even care what happened to them, so - not ideal. I am glad I waited to buy the sequel because I saved myself some money, as I have no intention of forcing myself to read any more about Orisha. It was strain enough to finish this.

    Did you read Children of Blood and Bone? Did it leave a better impression than it did on me? 

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"It's good to be reminded that the world is full of stories that are, potentially, as painful as yours."

    I was on the hunt for something relating to bookstores or libraries when I stumbled upon this gem. The title and the cover drew me in and I assumed it would be a fluffy, cozy book to curl up to on a cold autumnal day. I was not entirely right there. The book is cozy. And it's set in a second-hand bookstore, so bibliophile points are going up. There are many references to other books. The heroine spends her free time reading as much as she can. She has book quotes tattooed on her body. And yet... there is a depth and a tragedy to this book that I did not anticipate. It made my chest constrict and reminded me somewhat of 'Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine', a book I loved a ton.

    Loveday Cardew works at 'Lost for Words', a second-hand bookshop run by Archie, a man who is larger-than-life and full of stories of adventure and mischief. He is Loveday's only friend, besides being her employer, and she seems to see him as the only person who might care about her. There's mention of foster care and memories of her parents but Loveday keeps her cards close to her chest and we are unsure as to what led her to 'Lost for Words'. She is twenty-five, has short hair, a nose piercing, and tattoos of the opening lines of her favorite books on her collarbones, arms and legs. She doesn't exactly scream 'approachable' and that's how she likes it.

    One day she finds a book of poetry on the ground and posts a found notice on a pinboard of the shop. The owner of the book appears and introduces himself as Nathan, a man Archie later tells her could've been someone. He's a poet and a magician. We are also introduced to Rob, an a academic, though at first it appears as if he's just infatuated with Loveday and so her pushes roses through the letterbox at the store every day. And there is also Melodie, the local tour guide who sometimes helps out at the store. The cast is all there and the story begins.

    As I mentioned, Loveday doesn't talk about her past, but things start to change when a mysterious box of books appears in the store. It's twenty-six Penguin Black Classics, the exact ones her mother used to have on the shelf in their little crammed house. Memories of going to the small local bookstore in Whitby flood Loveday, but she shakes it off as a coincidence. Her mother doesn't know where she is, she couldn't have sent it. Then there is a book of nursery rhymes, exactly as the one her father had with a postcard i that bears her mother's handwriting. And finally, a cookbook she and her mother used to cook from, marked on the same pages as the one they had in their house. Loveday is shaken? How has found out her secret?
    
    At the same time as these mysterious delivers turn up, Loveday starts getting closer to Nathan. She goes to the George & Dragon, the pub he invited her to for poetry night, when she tries to get away from Ron (we'll get to that can of worms) and things progress from there. She keeps repeating how she is not good in relationships, that she doesn't want one, that it is impossible for her to have one. She tries keeping him at arm's length but he worms his way inside, slowly, cautiously. He is aware of her secrets but doesn't push her to tell him anything, though he does reveal things about himself. It all feels to good to be true for the jaded Loveday and she is determined to sabotage herself, resolving to break up with him while things are still god between them.

    And Rob... Rob has a mental illness that he doesn't treat properly. He craves control and exercises it on the women he dates. He and Loveday used to go out but when he slapped her one night when she wanted to leave because he demanded she should've asked for his permission to get a tattoo, she breaks it off. And this is when the roses and the stalking started. Now he's dating Melodie and Loveday is debating telling her what he's like, though she fears she won't be believed as she has no actual evidence. I all the mess, Rob learns of her secret, of what happened in Whitby and threatens to tell Nathan. Cornered and terrified, Loveday breaks up with him before he learns anything about her past.

    The chapters are all cleverly titled after book genres: poetry is for the present, history is for Rob, crime is for her childhood. Through her memories of what happened fifteen years ago, we learned that her father lost a job and then started losing his temper. Now she sees what she'd missed as a child, that her father was violent, especially toward her mother, who had bruises and broken bones and cracked teeth when she was examined. It really touched me how she loved both her parents and couldn't reconcile how loving they were to her to how much they hurt each other. We also see how this has impacted her, how losing them both at the age of ten made something inside her die and she was never the same, despite her foster-mother trying her best. Loveday is fiercely independent, doesn't want to owe anything to anyone, and she's hurt, really hurt.

    I absolutely loved this book and this heroine. The story of healing, of forgiveness - for others and for yourself, of letting people in, of learning to love is masterfully woven here. I also feel it's a universal story as we all have baggage and things that make us want to give up and just be loners. Maybe our stories aren't as tragic as Loveday's, but hurt is still hurt and it must be dealt with. It was also great how she had a support system around her, though she thought that after losing her parents she had no one who truly cared for her. Again, look around, you might not be as alone as you think.
    
    What is Loveday hiding? Why isn't her mother allowed to see her or know anything about her? Is she ever going to let her guard down and accept love and Nathan into her life? Read and find out.

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"They're not brave, the days when we are twenty-one. They are full of little cowardices, little fears without foundation, and one is so easily bruised, so softly wounded, one falls to the first barbed word."


    "Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again" is one of the most famous - and iconic - opening sentences in the literary world. I've heard it so many times, mentioned in other novels or movies, though I had never read the actual novel from whence it came before. I've always known that 'Rebecca' was one of the most celebrated works of fiction, and due to my complicated relationship with the classics - I blame Russian literature for turning me against any novels classified thus - I have been butting off reading it. But it's autumn, and it's always recommended as a perfect autumn read, so I gave in. Du Maurier keeps readers in suspense, chilling them with her masterful word weaving. Rebecca is dead. But she has more power than the living.

    The unnamed protagonist of the book - who is after her marriage known only as Mrs de Winter, is somewhere in Egypt with her husband and wakes from a nightmare. Thus she begins recounting the past, what led her to Manderley and what led her away from it. At the tender age of twenty-one, she was in Monte Carlo, working as a companion to a Mrs Van Hopper, an overbearing, and frankly embarrassing, social climber. There she is introduced to Max de Winter, a newly widowed Englishman who decided to get away from home for a fresh start. 

    The forty-two year old is aloof, though polite, but the young woman is instantly charmed. They sneak away, they go on rides, they lunch together - and she makes the most of Mrs Van Hopper's being indisposed due to the flu. Everything seems fun, she is finally having an adventure, not just reading about them, when Mrs Van Hopper suddenly gets better and wants to go back to America to see her daughter. Seeing the distress on her young companion's face, she tells her she's heard of her going around everywhere with de Winter and that she really shouldn't think that he loves her because he'd never get over Rebecca. Wanting to say goodbye, she goes up to Max's room but he won't let her leave and proposes marriage instead. Mrs Van Hopper warns her that she'd getting in over her head, that he won' be easy to manage, and Manderly even less so, but the words go unheeded.

"Rebecca was still mistress of Manderley. Rebecca was still Mrs de Winter."

    The first time she sees Manderley - Maxim's (for that's how he tells het to call him) estate - she is intimidated. She finds it beautiful but also wishes they were regular people who didn't have roles and expectations thrust upon them. The whole staff greets them (I'm reminded of Downton Abbey) and this is when she sets her eyes on Mrs Danvers for the first time - "a black figure stood waiting for me at the head of the stairs, the hollow eyes watching me intently from the white skull's face". Mrs Danvers immediately dislikes the young Mrs de Winter, who is out of her depth, unused to such large houses and unsure of her new role on the estate.

    This is where we get atmospheric and moody and gloomy. The English weather really lends itself to a novel like this, with the rains and winds and constant presence of clouds overhead. The sea close to Manderley plays an important role as well, and Mrs de Winter is soon disturbed by its sounds, though she'd been excited to know she'll be near it at first. Maxim goes back to his role back at home and his young bride is left to figure things out on her own. She's instructed to trust Mrs Danvers and ask for help but she feels the animosity and is frankly scared of the stoic woman.

"I could fight the living but I could not fight the dead."

    The couple have visits from family and friends and it soon becomes apparent that Rebecca is everywhere at Manderley. Everyone mentions her, telling the young woman how different she is from Max's previous wife. They tell of how beautiful she was, how graceful everyone loved her, wanted to be in her company. She threw the best parties, she decorated Manderley, she set up the menu they still eat from. When she asks the staff about anything, they say it's done that way since Rebecca was there. In the morning room, there's her desk with her things and Mrs de Winter feels like she's an intruder in someone's life. Mrs Danvers even voices her fears: "She's still mistress here, even if she is dead. She's the real Mrs de Winter, not you. It's you that's the shadow and the ghost. It's you that's forgotten and not wanted and pushed aside." Couple that with the fact that she's unsure of Max's feelings - actually she's pretty sure he's not over Rebecca - the young woman is having rather a bad time, though she'd imagined a fairytale.

    And then, Rebecca's presence becomes even more palpable, as her body is found in a boat at the bottom of their little harbor. This complicated things tremendously because Max had already identified her body almost a year ago. How could she be in the sea, them? There's a trial and secrets are confessed. Mrs de Winter stands by her husband but what will be revealed in the investigation? What do Mrs Danvers and Jack Favell have to do with the whole thing? And why are the de Winters not at Manderley in the present? Read and find out.

    This book.. damn, this book. I truly understand why it's so many people's favorite and why it's recommended so much. The writing is beautiful and made me feel as if I was at Manderley as well, walking the Happy Valley, or touring the house while Frith explains the history of each object. I watched the Netflix movie too and loved it as well. It may not have been a perfect adaptation but I prefer it to the Hitchcock one. I know, blasphemy, but black and white movies with wooden acting just don't do it for me. I believe this will be a book I will re-read in the future, truly deserving of its status as a masterpiece.
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 "I was a glaring blot on the perfection. But I didn't care. I didn't feel I owed him beauty."


    Ever since I read Arden's Winternight Trilogy last year, I felt a craving for more stories like it. Stories with the similar setting and feel, but not copies or imitations. I'm usually not one for fantasy - well, too heavy fantasy, with magical systems and whole worlds that you have to understand. Gets too complicated. But this is the perfect middle: it's a real world setting, though reimagined, sometime a long time ago and there's magic. Perfection. And then I finally started reading Uprooted.

"I'd never thought of magic, of my magic, as good for anything, until I stood there and knew that there was no one else but me; that whatever was in me, however poor and clumsy and untaught, was more magic than anyone else in my village had. That they needed help, and I was the only one left who could give it."

    Agnieszka lives in a small village Dvernik, close to the malicious Wood from which the Dragon protects them. He is their wizard, and once every ten years he takes a girl from the village. Because of this, and because he never came among them, never attended feasts, the people didn't know him and thus they didn't love him, even though he saves their lives on a regular basis. After a decade with the Dragon they come back changed, no longer belonging and soon they leave Dvernik behind for the capital where they go to university. Also, their reputations are no longer pristine because they have spent a decade living with a man though they swear her has never touched any of them.

    He takes girls of seventeen, born between one October and the next. Those girls are known as Dragon-born and they are the ones people love differently. Families are to scared to get too attached to them lest they be chosen and thus lost to them forever. But Agnieszka is not worried about being chosen for everyone knows it will be her beautiful friend Kasia the Dragon will take. Agnieszka is the opposite of the graceful Kasia: coltish, skinny, always dirty and ripped; yet her parents loved all these faults because they were certain it meant she wouldn't the picked.

    Yet, on October 1, on the feast held in his honor, it is Agnieszka the Dragon chooses. Nieszka who knows nothing of housework and who, unlike Kasia, has not been preparing for this her whole life. Before anyone has time to react, the Dragon takes Nieszka's hand and disappears from the village, suddenly appearing in his tower. And thus her training begins - because that's what the Dragon does with his girls, he trains them in magic, to be witches.

"I was running wild through the forest of magic, pushing brambles out of my way, heedless of scratches and dirt, paying no attention where I was going."

    Nieszka doesn't have much success at the beginning. Or well, at all. The spells the Dragon teaches her only exhaust her and it takes her many tries to get anything accomplished. In the beginning she'd go back to sleep after performing her morning spells, because it tired her so, but over time she got stronger. She also tries to cook, and keep herself clean - all these have to be fixed with magic, accompanied by the Dragon's derisive comments. But when she finds Yaga's old spellboook, with spells that haven't worked in a long time, things start to click for her, her magic becomes instinctive and it now her instructor who is at a disadvantage because he cannot really help her.

    One day, prince Marek comes to visit, looking for magic from the Dragon. His mother, Queen Hannah, has run away with the Rosyan prince when he was a little boy and has been trapped inside the Wood for twenty years. As his father plans to remarry, Marek wants to free his mother to prevent it. The Dragon is firm in his refusal, saying it is impossible to free someone, especially after so long. That night, Nieszka has an unpleasant incident with the prince (aka he tries to rape her) and this ends in the Dragon having to alter his memory to spare the his wrath and retribution.

"We were all living in a song: that was what it felt like."

    A few days after, Kasia's mother comes to the tower to tell them the Wood has taken her daughter. The Dragon is sympathetic but tells her that Kasia is lost and there is nothing that can be done. Not ready to just give up on her friend, armed with courage and the little bit of magic she has learned, Agnieszka goes to the Wood and somehow, through sheer luck, she manages to get Kasia out of the tree in whose trunk she was trapped. This comes with repercussions though - Kasia is now wooden, her gain is off and she feels no pain, cannot be hurt easily. And Prince Marek hears of it. He comes to the tower with the capital's wizard, the Falcon, to see whether Kasia can be permitted to live, but also to insist on freeing his mother. And this dangerous excursion will be one of the gravest mistakes. 

    There is something off about the newly freed queen, and evil starts to spread through Kralia. Now Agnieszka must save her friend and the late Prince Sigmund's children from the malice that has taken over the Queen and Prince Marek. With the Dragon's - Sarkan's - reluctant help she tries to fight off the Wood and its corrupting influence on people. Amongst all this, the pull between her and the Dragon is getting stronger, though they both tried to ignore it. His gruff manner and borderline insulting remarks start getting a caring undertone and the magic they weave together bounds them more intimately than they've thought possible. 

"But wanting cruelty felt like another wrong answer in an endless chain."

    What I loved most about this story is that its protagonist isn't the most beautiful or the most capable woman in her surroundings. She's described and tall and gangly and always dirty. Her magic does not come easy and she barely passed her tests, sometimes through sheer luck. Yet it is her courage and determination, her unapologetically being herself that sets her apart. She perseveres and she loves fiercely and she doesn't give up. I absolutely loved this novel and am definitely going to read more by Novik.
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I blog from time to time about things that inspire me. Lately, I have been getting back into the habit of reading, and my posts reflect that. I'm also always trying to take pretty photos, with varying degrees of success.


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